Independence Day

Perhaps one of the most remarkable things to me about getting older is that holidays have lost so much of  their excitement. Birthdays come and go but I don't feel significantly changed by them, I don't count down the days until Christmas (or if I do it's only because I am frantically trying to accomplish all the tasks on my holiday to-do list), and I don't feel wronged if I miss the fireworks or fall asleep before the clock strikes twelve. I know, I am pretty lame for being twenty-three.

For most of my adult/young adult life the 4th of July was significant to me because it was the most exhilarating and frantically busy workday of the year. I spent summers working for The Pizza Man in a tiny town where Independence Day is the most festively celebrated holiday that there is, and our little restaurant called all hands on deck for the whole day every year. It feels like a family event to me, after so many years repeating the same preparations with generally the same little cluster of people, and now it's one I've started to miss out on. Not that I'm trying to get back to slinging pizza, but truly, I can't ever say a bad word about that job or the most wonderful work-family thatI had there.

This 4th of July I was blessed with a much needed vacation, kind of on accident actually, as I happened to be waiting some days out between jobs. We drove six hours to Clarkston, where it stays warm after dark and the crickets sing beautifully. I spent the holiday laying in the yard reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and grilling hamburgers. At dark, we drove the truck out to the edge of the bluff where Tom's mom lives, where you can look out over the whole of two towns,  and watched the fireworks exploding like temporary, glittering dandelions from above. It was so effortless and simple, and by far the best holiday I've celebrated in a long, long time.

Being ambitious--being a do-er--seems so necessary in my life right now. It is a time for accomplishing and taking care of things and initiating growth anjd change. But it's funny how just letting things happen, just not do-ing, gives way to much more satisfying results sometimes.